ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
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Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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