He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
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my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
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And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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