so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
