Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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