Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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