i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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