Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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