You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
this will be a night to untag.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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