i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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