Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
