it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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