4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
