But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
