Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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