Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize