wake up i wanna do it froggy style
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
