Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Your cock deserves a montage
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
