We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
