we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize