just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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