wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize