I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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