sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
