he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
