guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
FUCK WHALES
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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