Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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