I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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