I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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