I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
