Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
