we have pet lesbian snakes
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
