i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
