Can i not drive my cunt home
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
