I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
