whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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