Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
