omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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