Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize