Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
