I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
