It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
