Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
