I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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