My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
