he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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