Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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