just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
