Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
