i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
