I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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