she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think your dad took our porno
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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