Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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