just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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