for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
