it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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