We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
