I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize