I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
